After class with Neil Gaiman, a trip to Berlin, a fantastic start on project about Mixed Race identity, doing a little acting, nailing auditions, being at the midway point to an awesome semester, and landing my top choice Theatre Internship, I must say.
It was nice to be on break for a little while. So I thought I'd catch up on some shows everyone told me I should see.
I just watched Mean Girls for the first time, and honestly I realized how much of high school was probably just like that movie for people. Girls, Boys, Drama, making out, parties, probably some illegal stuff. Saw some similarities here or there myself.
But where I was in life, it was totally not that. It was ADD pills, attempts on the life of my dreams, and a shit ton of racism and sexism.
And I never knew anyone remotely like Regina George. Or at least not anyone worth remembering.
Then I realized that I did have my version of a Regina George. Two actually. But you know what was different between her and them? They had Adam's apples. And one was an adult.
And this was real life.
And I was a teen.
What politics could be involved with rivals such as these? A grown man in a position of power over who showed passive, yet visible hostility to powerful, intelligent women of color, but who would smile in your face if he wanted something from you. And a small boy with too many insecurities to count, taking it out on who he thought was a vulnerable girl two years his junior.
One had a childish way of dealing with issues. Calling names, ostracizing, public humiliation, ya know, dumb little boy shit.
The other, who was at least three and a half times my age at the time, used emotional manipulation and crooked leadership to have his way, and cared very little about the minority women he would hurt along the way, and then loved to take credit for their success saying he "made them stronger".
*scoffs* Bitch please. I was already strong.
I took money from the adult by aligning myself with a competitor to steal his revenue and calling him out on his racism, earning him backlash. Then earning more money from him by making him pay for any event he wanted me to attend and perform at thereafter.
And the other encountered a light slap on the wrist (Or was it the face? I'm losing track of how much I used to slay back then, cause I'm too busy still slaying).
I was just.
I was smart.
And all of this while hopped up on some prescribed pills that I should never have even been taking. Symptoms include intense weight loss, paranoia, lack of sleep, emotional distress, and, at it's worst, the possibility of psychosis and schizophrenia.
so ya
I ain't sorry.
Some people are racist, sexist, manipulative, and totally deserve it. And sometimes you just gotta punch a nazi. Especially where it hurts.
And even though not everyone appreciated me for it, I know that people's lives were made better because of it. I built a legacy of strong minorities to be my successors. My mentees flourished in confidence and came out of their own personal fogs cause I encouraged them. And I was only what? 15-18yo?
Right.
So next time someone asks me how my teen years were, I'll just tell them the truth.
I was never a teen.
I went from pre-teen to forever hard-working black woman.
Thanks to Regina George, I'm just more picky about who I work for.